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Life Thoughts

 I've woken up with mixed feelings. It's hard to recognise and own that I am now well into my 40's. 

Next year is the big 50! How has half a century passed by? There is still so much to do and I feel that I am only now starting to come into my own.  I have to remind myself that I'm not a timid unsure girl. That I have voice, deserve respect and capable of anything.  The tiny voice inside still brings back the anxiety and the inner child, terrified of their own shadow. 

I am a work in progress and I want to build a life for myself that will allow me to slow down and one day enter into retirement without a heavy financial stress. 

For now I'm focussing on being comfortable being alone. I still think about him daily and wish I didn't. But I'm proud of what I've achieved in the almost 3 months since we split. Completed my first knitting project, attended another book club event and spent several weekends home in my own company. 

Been having a lot of strange dreams. Not bad dreams, but I don't feel they have been pleasant. It's my subconscious working through things and getting rid of the negative energy. 

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