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Anxious

For as long as I can remember I have struggled with anxiety. My resilience has been tested time and time again as I force myself out of the comfort zone to sit in the uncomfortable. 

I have memories of hiding in my bedroom, hoping that I would not get in trouble for some little mistake I made as a child. My heart pounding and stomach in knots. As an adult it is the same, although over time I have learnt coping strategies. Using a worry diary helps. Writing down the concern and then coping statements. Breathwork helps, if I can get outside of my mind and allow things to slow down. Exercise helps. 

I am a chameleon and master of masking the anxiety I feel attending events where I do not know anyone. People can mistake me for an extrovert. When in reality I am a lot more introverted than I even realise sometimes. As I am getting older and friendships change and move, I realise that I need to come out of my shell once again and engage with the world. 

In navigating my life as a 40 something solo woman, I am making it a goal to:

  1. invest socially - meet new people and enjoy events with others
  2. hobby - go back to doing things I enjoy. Such as reading, blogging, fitness and a new craft knitting
  3. self work - work on myself so that the anxiety does not overwhelm me. Be comfortable to wash of the negative thoughts and push through the uncomfortable moments.
  4. family - cherish the moments left with my mum.

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