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Fight or Flight

Why cannot I not push aside the feeling of dread that sits in the pit of my stomach? 

It is the people pleaser part of me. The part that does not like to feel they have let anyone down or feel like I'm trouble.  In this case, I do feel I have let the person down.  I should have been on top of the situation. Instead I let my personal life get in the way.  Perhaps this why I feel so bad now and worrying day and night. 

The ridiculous thing is, ultimately I cannot control the situation or the outcome.  Everything I do now is just to try my best to resolve it and quickly.  I need to let it go - to do the things I can do and stop the constant thinking, worrying and over thinking regarding what is outside my control.

I know this is causing me undue stress - I am not sleeping, have the knot in my stomach, feel the exhaustion and fog in my brain. Worse still is the part of me that wants to flee, to take flight. Looking for new jobs.  This doesn't fix anything and I do know that. But my mind has still has the programming to run when I feel anxious.  I know I have to fight and this will pass.  What will be, will be. No amount of additional worry and angst on my end is going to help.  

Anxiety is so irrational. It strips me of my energy, makes me physically and mentally drained. I do my best to keep it at bay. I wish I could just magically stop feeling this way.  All I can do is keep pushing and fighting through it. Believe in myself and the affirmations I tell myself over and over again. 

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